Juridiquês

Dentre os jargões talvez o mais antigo seja o juridiquês, tão velho quanto o direito.
Caindo na real, os próprios juristas começaram a combatê-lo, iniciativa que conta com o apoio das entidades de classe - a Associação dos Magistrados Brasileiros - AMB à frente - e dos Tribunais.
Quando o juridiquês for finalmente erradicado, a linguagem forense vai ficar bem mais compreensível e a comunicação entre juristas e os demais pobres mortais vai melhorar.
Mas nessa caminhada vamos perder algumas coisas muito engraçadas.
Vou anotar aqui algumas delas para que no futuro seja possível fazer uma arqueologia do juridiquês.
Começando pelo começo. Petição inicial é a mesma coisa que exordial, mas também é peça de arranque.
Apertada síntese não é o que você está pensando. Às vezes nem síntese é de tão extensa que fica.
Processo pode ser álbum processual.
Alguns verbos são preciosidades, como é o caso de abroquelar, que os íntimos dizem apenas proteger. Ou esvurmar, que literalmente significa espremer o tumor.
Os sinônimos formam um capítulo destacado, a começar pelo inefável - e manjado -  causídico.
O latinório produz situações engraçadíssimas, sobretudo quando o usuário desavisado faz flexões - de número e de gênero - como se português fosse, pespegando um S ao final da palavra para colocá-la no plural ou um A no vão esforço de passá-la para o feminino, ignorando as regras gramaticais latinas. Fica muito engraçado o plural de considerandum nessa novilíngua - consideranduns  - quando o correto é consideranda.
Em outro post continuarei com mais preciosidades e algumas verdadeira pérolas.

Comentários

Caro Alencar,

Excelente iniciativa: o juridiquês precisa virar piada, mesmo.
Como colaboração, lembro que a petição inicial pode ser também peça vestibular e peça de ingresso. Dentre os verbos, destaco o inacreditável obnubilar, que muitos advogados tanto tentam fazer com a mente dos magistrados.
Abraço.
Lafayette disse…
Êpa! rsrrsrs, Francisco, vou lhe pratulhar (prática que detesto quando fazem comigo!) rsrsrsrs.

"Advogados" uma pinóia. Todos nós! rsrsrsrs

O que já vi de Juiz, Desembargador, Ministro, Promotor, Procurador, Defendor Público, Cartorário, Serventuário, leigo-que-entrou-pela-janela-no-fórum-só-porque-a-mulher-era-amiga-da-presidente-da-época-do-Tribunal-e-a-amiga-estava-triste-porque-o-marido-num-tinha-jeito-de-arrumar-um-emprego, não tá no gibi!

De minha parte, tento me dejuridicar nas minhas petições (sem vulgarizá-la, é claro).

Mas, já vi de tudo um pouco!

Advogado escrevendo "data venia, Senhor Julgador-Mor". (Ps.: Senhor Jugador-Mor é fueda! rsrsrs)

Juiz escrevendo "expulso a Inicial, desde logo", quando queria dizer, que a mesma era inépta, e a indeferia de plano.

Mas, tem também o inverso, o cidadão que quer dar uma de amigo-enturmado, e vai logo dizendo, "Nobre Julgador, o Autor lança prezepada em cima de prezepada na Inicial".

Já vi de tudo, como falei, e todos estes acima são verdadeiros (uma ou outra palavra diferente, pois estou lembrando de cabeça) e estão lá em algumas das minhas pastas de processos da Celpa.

Alencar, vou caçar umas outras pérolas, e quando encontrar, vou colocá-las por aqui. Assim, podes ir fazendo: "Juridiquês 02"; "Juridquês 03"; e assim por diante.

Abraços aos dois.
JOSÉ DE ALENCAR disse…
Amigos Francisco e Lafayette.

Obrigado pela leitura, pelos comentários e pela adesão ao bom combate ao juridiquês.
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